


"There is nothing more we can do."

by nightchandac



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Death, Gen, M/M, non Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightchandac/pseuds/nightchandac
Summary: This is in response to the very painful angst prompt I got on tumblr and I thought I'd post it here, too.  It hurts.  Also this isn't Nicos's canon death, just purely for the prompt fill and paaaaaain.





	

Dying wasn’t what Nicos thought it would be.  He thought there’d be pain and tears and shouting.  Or maybe there’d be nothing at all and he wouldn’t know it happened until it was over.  But dying was worse than he ever could have imagined.

He’d been _dying_ before—more times than he’d care to admit, actually—but this time there was just something that told him this was it…this was really happening.

Dying was gasping for breath as the icy cold fear gripped him and he lost all feeling in his limbs.  Dying was watching blurry forms above him panic and try to stitch him back up.  Dying was vaguely hearing his love’s begging as his warm hands caressed his face and wiped tears away.  Dying was suddenly realizing this was what he was leaving behind and wanting more than anything to be able to stay.

“…with me, you hear me!?  You keep your eyes on me and stay awake, you bloody bastard!”  Dorian’s voice was shaking, as were his hands, and Nicos wanted nothing more than to be able to promise he’d stay.  He wanted to tell Dorian it was going to be all right.  Speaking, however, was out of the question as he tried and choked, weakly coughing up blood.  “Stop, _stop_.  Just hold on, amatus…just hold on…”

Nicos tried to nod but he wasn’t sure he’d actually moved at all.  The hands on his chest and stomach fell away and he heard panicked shouting but couldn’t make out the words.  His eyelids were getting heavy and it was so tempting to just close them for a moment.  He barely felt the hands slapping his face, barely heard Dorian’s frantic cries to wake him up, but he tried his hardest to focus on his face above him.

And suddenly he was sure, he _knew_ this was it.  Things were clear and bright and _oh, Maker, did it hurt_.

“Dorian, _stop_.  There’s nothing more we can do.”  Varric’s voice sounded so distant and low that Nicos almost didn’t recognize it.  It was rare that he called anyone by their actual name and it only served to reassure Nicos that this really was serious, this really was the end.

“No, no, there has to be something.  This can’t be it, there’s always something!  _Please, amatus!_ ”  Dorian cried, focusing intently on Nicos’s face as though if he looked away he’d forget every feature.

Nicos wanted to cry with them.  He felt his chest tighten, whether in sadness or fear at what was to come, he wasn’t sure.  He was terrified of ending.  And he was terrified of leaving everything and everyone behind. 

Dying hurts.  But it wasn’t the physical wounds, the bleeding and the fiery pain with every breath, the weakness and tingling numbness in his limbs as his strength drained away…it was watching the heartbreak on all their faces, the helplessness in their eyes and the desperation on their tongues as they begged and pleaded. 

Nicos wanted to speak, wanted to tell Dorian over and over that he loved him, wanted to tell his sister he was sorry he was such a pain-in-the-ass little brother, wanted to tell Josephine he was sorry he wasn’t a very good diplomat…there were so many things he wanted to say.  All of it would go unsaid as Nicos felt the world fade away and the last breath left his lungs as one last tear fell down his face.

Dying wasn’t what Nicos thought it would be.  It wasn’t peaceful and it wasn’t pain.  It was all heartbreak.


End file.
